Journal Entries -- Coping with Murray's Cancer

Murray slipped quietly away on the morning of April 19, 2001 after a couple of days of lethargy and exhaustion caused by her weight loss. Up until then, she had remained active, feisty, and joyful, and I believe she chose to leave when she was no longer happy. She had an eventful and thoroughly interesting life and a quick and merciful end, passing gently away in my hands.

The following entries are from e-mail messages sent to the Hedgehog_Help and HedgehogWorld mailing lists detailing the progression of Murray’s cancer, with all its ups and downs. I have tried to edit out redundancies, for the most part, but these entries will give you a good picture of the events following our first notice of a swollen spot along Murray’s jaw that was diagnosed as squamous cell carcinoma.

I hope that this diary of sorts will provide information as well as comfort to other hedgehog or pet owners whose pets have been diagnosed with cancer. Murray’s progression has been nothing shy of miraculous. While the end of this story is known with certainty, the middle parts are full of joy, knowledge, and peace as well as worry and tribulations.

10/16/2000

Miss Murray is heading to the vet presently to have a swollen spot on the right side of her mouth checked. It looks like a tooth or something might be inflamed. I noticed her with a pile of partly chewed food earlier today. I thought it might be vomit but upon closer examination, it looked like she had chewed it and spat it out (too chunky, her vomit is thinner and milky). She is playing and drinking normally (and pooping, too!) but I am worried as anyone would be and so, off to the vet she goes. Think good thoughts and I'll post the details later. Hopefully it's not anything major; I don't know what I'd do if it is.

10/16/2000

Murray had to go to the vet today as I found a swollen spot on the left side of her mouth. She seemed to be unable to close her mouth all the way, with the back corner staying just a little open.

Dr. Cone at Bees Ferry Vet Hospital saw her at 3:30 and tried to examine Murray's teeth without anesthesia, which was not very successful. So Dr. Cone took our beloved girl and kept her for a few hours to put her under, look at the swelling, her teeth, do some x-rays, and do a biopsy if necessary.

We picked up Murray at about 7:00 and Dr. Cone explained what she had found. Murray had lost a molar and had inflammation and infection all around it, which was causing the swelling that I noticed. She gave us Bayril .05 cc syringes to be given 2x daily for the next five days. My husband with the steady hand volunteered to adminster the shots. I love him so much.

The x-rays showed a region of some concern. Dr. Cone noted some asymmetry along Murray's left and right jawbones. This patch on the x-ray, she said, could be explained either of two ways: a tumor that may have caused bone erosion and tooth loss, leading to the infection, OR infection and inflammation that is showing up on the x-ray. (I didn't quite follow HOW this could happen, exactly.)

Murray's biopsy report will hopefully be back Friday, possibly Monday, and hopefully will show only infection. I am very optimistic about this, actually. It seems to me that if a tumor had progressed to the point that it could cause bone erosion and tooth loss, it would show up more on an x-ray. Dr. Cone agrees but is waiting for the biopsy report to be sure.

On a somewhat funny note, Dr. Cone said that Murray had to have a LOT of isofluorine gas for such a small creature ... Dr. Cone got a nice buzz, too. 8-) Murray was up and active when we picked her up, happily. A little wobbly but much stronger than I thought she would be. She is sleeping now and I'm probably not going to let her have her wheel tonight.

10/17/2000

Murray slept most of the night after her wild day yesterday, but did tube and wheel some last evening. I was pleased to see her eat a little, although she was chewing slowly and not eating much. She got a good drink and then settled in for the night.

This afternoon, I woke her up and held her for a while. Then we gave her the first Baytril shot (well, the second, since the vet gave her one last night). It went OK for Murray but was very stressful for Chopper and me. Murray's main problem was that she had a serious case of the wigglies and wanted very much to romp and play rather than be held still for a subQ. Chopper finally did inject her along her quill line and she didn't even flinch. It's a small needle and a tiny amount of Baytril (.05cc).

She played for a while more and then I put her back in her pet corral ... She ate some, drank a lot, scratched once at the subQ spot, and headed back to her bag. Her swollen mouth doesn't look much better, but this is only her second dose of Baytril, so we'll see how it looks in a day or so. The biopsy report should come back toward the end of the week.

10/23/2000

I didn't think initially that I wanted to share this with the list for a while, but I find I want desperately to talk about it.

Dr. Cone called tonight to give me the results of Murray's biopsy, taken last week after we noticed a swollen area near her jaw. When Dr. Cone sedated Murray and examined her, she found a tooth had fallen out and the area around it was inflamed and infected. We treated her with five days of injected Baytril and her infection seems to have cleared up.

Murray has squamous cell carcinoma, which Dr. Cone explained does not tend to spread and metastisize as rapidly as other forms of cancer. It appears to have started in her skin and has spread to the fibrous tissue around her jaw. We are unable to determine without a major procedure whether it has spread into the jawbone.

Dr. Cone recommends a regimen of antibiotics to control inevitable infections like the one she just had, plus possible steroids to help control inflammation and increase her appetite. Murray is eating much better now (ZooFare and her chicken mash) but may need to go toward a more soft diet as the tumor grows and it becomes more difficult for her to chew.

Surgery is simply not an option. Dr. Cone said that the surgery to remove the tumor would involve removing most of her jawbone and tongue, which I will not do. Murray deserves a high quality of the life she has remaining. Our other options are to treat her as above, with antibiotics and steroids, which will do nothing to control the cancer. Radiation therapy is another option and Dr. Cone is going to give us some more information on that this week. She mentioned the University of Georgia vet school as one place and will have others.

I need to evaluate my options and want help from the list in doing so. I'm devastated. We were truly hoping that this was simply a complication from tooth loss.

Murray, with her usual vigor, is eating her chicken mash and ZooFare with cod liver oil and going about her usual business. She's been wheeling, tubing, and generally being her typical rambunctious self. I love her so much and want to help her however I can.

10/24/2000

We are meeting with Dr. Cone tomorrow to discuss Murray's treatment options for her squamous cell carcinoma on her jawline. Thanks SO much to everyone who has been kind enough to write; I'm not replying to everyone because of the sheer volume I've gotten, but your loving words and kindness are noted, appreciated, and cherished. I love you guys.

Shonda pointed me in the direction of a dietary supplement called IP-6 which is naturally found in plant fibers and has been shown to have some anticancer effects. I will probably have our compounding pharmacy here prepare some IP-6 into a tuna or liver flavored paste (ewwww!) and see if we can start getting some into Murray. It's worth a shot!

At minimum, it appears that our treatment of her cancer will be rotating antibiotics, a steriod TBD, and IP-6, all orally. I'm trying to avoid injecting her if we can persuade her to ingest the stuff. Our pharmacy is armed with the ability to make anything smell noxious enough for a hedgehog to eat it. I'm just hoping she won't annoint with it!

We may add Cytoxan or another drug, but I'm going to talk to Dr. Cone about chemotherapy effects on hedgehogs first before making that decision. Has anyone else given Cytoxan or another chemo drug to a hedgehog and noticed the side effects?

10/25/2000

Dana wrote me a sweet and truly touching e-mail privately about how Murray had affected her life, and it got me to thinking about the deeper meaning of what Murray has accomplished with her life to date. I think this applies to everyone who has had a pet, hedgehog or no. I hope it brings some comfort to you all.

Murray does not belong only to my husband and I. She belongs to everyone who has met her, learned about her, loved her, and laughed at her. When I publish her exploits on the hedgehog mailing lists or the web site, people see, love her, and take a little piece of her into their lives.

Dana and others have Murray's screen saver on her computer and look at the little face who I love so much every day. Many rescue hedgehogs are safe in their new, happy homes because of efforts I have made on their behalf, because of Murray. Tourists here in Charleston meet her when we take her outside for playtime, learn about hedgehogs, and are fascinated by her. They take her home, too. Hedgehog owners provide better care to their hedgehogs in part because they have asked me for help -- answers I would not have provided if I did not love Murray.

There are others, of course. But all these people have taken little pieces of my beloved Murray into their hearts and minds and will remember her long after she is gone. None of us -- human, animal -- are immortal. The best we can hope for is to perpetuate ourselves in this world by good works and love. Murray has done this in spades. And she is still here for a while to continue this.

I love you, Murray.

10/27/2000

After Shonda suggested that I look into giving Murray IP6 (inositol hexaphosphate, also called phytic acid) as a nutritional anticancersupplement, I asked Dr. Cone about it. She is not familiar with the research but is looking into it. Her inclination is that it will do Murray no harm and may very well help a great deal, so we went ahead and began that
therapy today.

I bought Cell Forte brand IP6 with inositol capsules at GNC. It runs about $30 for 120 capsules (around 800 mg IP6 and 200 mg inositol). From my estimates from the amounts given to rats in the animal trials and the human dosage, I am giving Murray about two capsules a week. I opened up a capsule and tasted the powder, which is really just about tasteless, so I happily mixed it into Murray's chicken and rice mash (about a 3-4 day supply). She ate her normal morning amount quite enthusiastically.

11/1/2000

We started Murray on Septra liquid (a sulfa based antibiotic) today. She's getting 1 mL daily and I got it tuna-flavored at a local compounding pharmacy. I put it on top of her food and she didn't seem to mind at all.

She's also getting IP6 in her chicken and rice mash, and Dr. Cone just called me with her suggested dosage after doing some research with exotic vets. She says between 25 and 50 mg daily -- which equates to about a third of a capsule full of Cell Forte per week. I just mix it right into her mash.

Dr. Cone also wants me to give Murray small portions of yogurt for the active lactobacillus cultures, which will help keep her "good" GI bacteria up. Powdered lactobacillus is available in most pet stores in the bird aisle, but active cultures are better. Murray may get a little of both.

11/2/2000

Has anyone used Septra before? Murray started her 1 mL dose yesterday. This morning, she had a VERY stinky and loose poop. I assume it is from the Septra. She's going to be on this fairly long term so does anyone have any hope for me that this might ease up a bit? When I say stinky, I mean STINKY. Murray got a little on her quills and had to have an immediate bath.

11/6/2000

Murray's jawline tumor looks a little bigger to me (sigh) but she is still eating with considerable vigor both her chicken mash and her regular ZooFare.

There is good news on the weight department. After an all-time adult low of 411g at Dr. Cone's office three weeks ago, she is up to 425g according to Jennifer's scale (thanks Norma and Skeezix for letting your mom bring it).

Murray has weighed as much as 575g, usually around 525-550 all of her adult life. This was obviously significant weight loss. The upshot of this is that the Baytril injections cleared up her oral infection that was causing her to eat less.

Murray, FYI, is thrilled to be getting chicken three times a day, even if one batch does have tuna-flavored Septra in it. I'm splitting up her mealtime like that because I don't want her to eat most or part of the chicken mash and then leave it sitting around. It also has led to a Pavlovian response on Murray's part ... she expects chicken mash whenever she wakes up. I've caught her sitting in her food dish staring at me several times. Oh, the hole burnt into the back of my head by that gaze!

My husband and I are going to our local Japanese steakhouse tomorrow specifically to get shrimp for Murray. Granted, WE like it, too, but she's getting several in a little hoggie bag just for her. I'm going to chop them up so she can chew them more easily.

11/7/2000

OK gang, I think Murray is being finicky about eating her staple food (ZooFare) because she is getting a fair amount of homemade chicken and rice mash daily. She's eating her ZooFare but is mostly just picking at it. I got some Select Diet to sprinkle in amongst her ZooFare to perhaps stimulate her ... but it might be that she is having trouble chewing the ZooFare, since it is pelleted and she does have a tumor along her jawline. I fear that. Her weight is stable (actually, she's gained a little back as I reported earlier) but I'm wondering if I should try to mash her ZooFare as well.

I'm thinking of running it and possibly some Select too through a food processor with a little water. Has anyone done this or anything similar for a hedgehog with mouth problems? [Editorial note: yes, and it works quite well.]

11/16/2000

Murray went to see Dr. Hentges at Animal Medical West here in Charleston (Norma's vet) to be evaluated for treatment for her squamous cell carcinoma. Dr. Hentges is TERRIFIC and so gentle with Murray. He spent about 45 minutes with us and examined her thoroughly but gently. Murray was very good, although wiggly! and even let him look at her teeth.

Basically his findings were this: Murray's tumor seems to be developing externally so far and is not interfering overmuch with jaw function, tongue mobility, etc. He sees what may be a hairline fracture of her jaw in her x-rays taken last month, but he is not very concerned because it does not seem to be bothering her any. Her tooth loss is under control; she has lost only one molar (the one that triggered the infection that caused us to go to the vet and find the cancer) and there is no evidence of secondary infection.

He is going to consult with a veterinary oncologist in Texas (didn't catch the name) and Dr. Dressen to see if intralesional injection of a chemo drug suspended in sesame oil will benefit her without major side effects. He has used this method with excellent results in other species. Basically the sesame oil is slow to be absorbed and stays local, so the chemo would essentially be time-released and localized to the area of the tumor. Since this kind of cancer is slow or unlikely to metastasize, he can inject into the tumor without much fear of involving other systems.

He confirmed what I already suspected -- her tumor is not interfering with her oral functions and is not causing her pain or difficulty. When he touched the tumor, she huffed and hopped away, but she did exactly the same thing when he touched her unaffected side. My girl does not like to have her face and neck touched!

Essentially Murray is healthy, unaffected by the tumor, and likely to continue in this vein for some months. With continued use of antibiotics (changing the particular med monthly to avoid building up drug resistance) and intralesional chemo, her chances for a long happy life are very good.

I am thrilled!

11/27/2000

Hi everyone -- Murray and I have safely returned from our Thanksgiving trip to my parents' house in Alabama. We had an excellent time ... Murray ate tons of turkey, drank out of the dog's water bowl (!), and generally was her typically cute self for the family.

I have some good news to report regarding her tumor (squamous cell carcinoma). I had actually been suspecting this for several days, but since I see her every day, it was hard to be an objective judge. Both my mother and father, who saw her about three and a half weeks ago, think that the tumor along her jawline is _significantly_ smaller.

I noted that when I began the IP6 therapy, she began drinking more water than normal. Since she began taking Septra antibiotic orally a week or so later, it is excellent for her to drink a lot to flush her little system out. My thought at the time was that if the IP6 only caused thirst and didn't help with the cancer -- it was a good thing because that would prevent the Septra from overwhelming her little kidneys.

This is simply anecdotal evidence. We obviously do not have a clinical trial of IP6 in affected hedgehogs to see if it truly makes a difference, but it seems to have that effect on Murray.

I kept telling everyone who asked that what I truly wanted for Christmas was for Murray to get better. If she does, I'll never forget. Thank you, Shonda, for recommending this.

12/2/2000

I've just been having a lot of fun with Miss Murray the Magnificent today and thought I'd share ...

Murray has always been a dedicated tuber but lately has been putting SEVERAL solid hours per night on her wheel. Not sure what that's about, but she's even wheeling when we're in the room, as long as the desk lamp and not the overhead light is on. Consequently her wheel is a poopy mess all the time and I find myself constantly cleaning. Tonight it got the full treatment as opposed to the daily wipedown and Murray was quite agitated to come out of her bag and find NO WHEEL! There was no squeak of dismay but she glared quite viciously at me.

I've got her forest green vellux blanket down and a red craft foam liner on her wheel so her area is festively appointed. She of course could care less; but I like it!

Once I picked her up to clear out her area and change her vellux, I discovered that her Murrayness had apparently given herself a golden shower during the night. Bathtime! She was indignant as usual but did the cutest thing while being dried off with the hairdryer on low -- she laid down completely flat and then arched her little butt up in the air. (Giggle)

Anyway, once she was nice and dry, I took her in the living room to see the new Christmas tree -- which is an incredibly fresh fraser fir that was in the ground yesterday. She was so interested in the smell and wanted to climb on the branches, which I let her do with my hand supporting her ... how cute.

She's wheeling nonstop as I type. I wish I knew why wheeling suddenly became her #1 activity -- she's always wheeled, but never to this extent.

12/13/2000

Murray is regrowing bone in her jaw to replace her SHRINKING tumor!!!

Dr. Hentges was the bearer of good news for us today ... as I had reported earlier, we suspected that Murray's squamous cell carcinoma was actually getting smaller. X-rays confirm that and also show that our little trooper is regrowing bone in her jaw around where the tumor had eroded it. The hairline fracture that shows on the x-rays from 10/31 is nearly gone.

Her weight is stable at 420g, she is eating enthusiastically, and she is just her typical gregarious, active little self. My husband and I were just beaming when we came out of the vet's office today. I had hoped for a reprieve; I had never expected a recovery.

The only setback today was Murray's complete unwillingness to stay still -- even for 1/20th of a second -- for x-rays. Poor Dr. Hentges was VERY patient despite the poop assault, scratchy toenails, and general wiggliness. Dr. Hentges wanted very much not to sedate her, and we finally got the shots, but it took all of our patience!

I am so glad that it looks like our dear girl will be around for a long, long time. (happy sniff)

12/26/2000

I have another successful "soft food" experience to report. Murray has been a little off her appetite over the past few days and I am trying to get some calories into her. She's got a tumor along her left jawline and has some trouble chewing things.

She LOVES shrimp and salmon, so tonight when I went to the store to get some steaks for my husband and I to grill tomorrow, I got a tiny salmon fillet and four cooked and peeled shrimp for her.

I baked the fillet (wrapped in aluminum foil, 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes) and broke it into small pieces. Most of that went into the freezer for later use, or alternatively could have been MY dinner. I put several pieces of cooled-down salmon in my food processor with the four shrimp, tails removed.

A few seconds in the food processor and behold! Hedgehog Seafood Salad. Murray is, so to speak, in hog heaven.

I would be cautious about the shrimp with hedgehogs that have not previously had it. I've never heard of a case of shellfish allergy, but it is a serious enough threat to warrant concern. However, Murray ate her first shrimp long before I thought about that aspect of it, so I'm not concerned, but be aware.

At any rate, it's a healthy and easy-to-get-down treat for hedgehogs, like Murray, who have trouble chewing. I left the skin on the salmon so the EFA oils are in it, but it breaks up into tiny pieces in the food processor. Enjoy!

1/1/2001

Early this morning, Chopper saw some blood at the corner of Murray's mouth, where the tumor is. She was annoyed at having him inspect it, but seemed fine otherwise. She's still eating OK and is wheeling and playing normally.

Nevertheless, I am a little concerned so we are going to try & see Dr. Hentges tomorrow. I hope (best case scenario) that it's just another tooth forced out by the tumor, which is sad but foreseeable and not that serious. I don't want to think about other possibilities. Neither one of us saw any more blood today and Chopper did not see any visible source of the bleeding.

She's due for a refill of antibiotics (probably but not definitely more Baytril for the time being) to control any oral infections.

We had a wonderful long snuggle today while watching football (or at least, Chopper and I were) and Murray tried to eat my hair. She loves the smell of my shampoo. ??? And I love HER.

1/2/2001

Dr. Hentges thinks that Murray simply had another tooth fall out and is prescribing oral clindamycin twice daily to help clear up an apparent oral infection. (I noted once again the bad breath that accompanied her last oral infection.) Her little tumor is swollen, but it feels somewhat soft to the touch and may simply be inflamed and irritated due to the infection.

She is grumpy when it's touched, but she's always hated having people inspect her mouth, even when she was perfectly healthy, so that doesn't worry me overmuch.

While this is no fun, it's foreseeable considering the placement of her tumor and past history. Hopefully the antibiotic will help clear the infection up in a few days and relieve her discomfort. I'll keep everyone posted.

1/2/2001

OHMIGOD, Murray just got me but good!

I gave her the first dose of clindamycin (0.1cc twice daily) and then a large helping of salmon and shrimp mash to ease the pain. I left her alone for a while and then took her into the living room for snuggling ... well, Little Miss Rompy wanted to climb all over me, which was fun, and decided to start chewing vigorously on my hair, which is a favorite activity.

I felt a small warmth behind my ear and then a SMELL and realized that Her Murrayness had POOPED IN MY HAIR!!! Ewww. She'd eaten lots of salmon. I won't elaborate. But I had to shower, immediately; no alternative would suffice.

1/8/2001

Hi gang ... I'm having a bad night here. Murray is OK, but her tumor is bigger, and getting a little "lumpy" on the outside in the way of squamous cell carcinomas. She's eating well and is active as usual, but I was so cheered by the apparent stagnation of her tumor for a while, and I'm a little sad. The good news is that her oral infection seems to have been eased by the clindamycin, which she's on for at least another week.

1/10/2001

Well, I've had quite a night ... I called Lydia Hiby, the animal communicator that several people have talked to, including Jennifer and Standing Bear. It was quite ... intriguing.

She started off with a comment that Murray had some problems with her neck or throat and had some difficulty swallowing, but that it was not severe or painful. She also said that I was giving Murray something bitter, but not with her regular food, which was yummy.

Anyway, it went on from there. Lydia was pretty accurate on everything ... but the first few statements, when I had told her nothing but my name and location, and Murray's name, gender, and species, just floored me. It's amazing. I'm not sure if I am totally convinced, but I am highly intrigued.

1/28/2001

Murray and I have had a rough night tonight ... Jennifer was over to visit the baby boyhog that has come all the way from Boone, NC to live with Yoli (I'm temporarily hogsitting) and, thank goodness, she was there when Murray scratched at her jaw tumor and began bleeding profusely.

I think actually she snagged herself inside the mouth as blood was coming between her teeth. Jennifer was calm and collected (myself, not so much) and got our vet on the phone for advice ... thank heavens for her. The bleeding did subside, and we had already scheduled a vet appt. tomorrow at 6 pm, by coincidence.

Murray has shown signs of an oral infection and some discomfort tonight, which tears at my heart. She's got the bad breath again, and she has opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue several times. I can see some dark coloration around one tooth, and the area around it seems to be inflamed.

She's on oral clindamycin 0.1cc 2x daily for 5 days, then 10 days of 0.5cc baytril, rotating back to the clindamycin after that. I don't think the baytril is helping. She just started the clindamycin again two days ago.

Jennifer and I thought of using a canker sore remedy containing benzocaine to numb her a little, but I called the emergency vet clinic and they recommended strongly against that. So nothing can be done until tomorrow.

Murray just finished eating a nice helping of chicken, salmon, and shrimp mash (yes, her mash keeps getting more extravagant as time goes by) and is currently running on her wheel. She seems OK now but I am so, so terribly worried. Think good thoughts for her, and for me. I've cried a lot tonight and don't know what to do.

1/29/2001

OK, everyone take a collective deep breath, along with ME. 8-)

Dr. Hentges thinks that Murray's tumor is partly dying off due to lack of blood flow. The incident last night resulted in a LOT of blood, but for a very short period of time. Dr. Hentges says it is very likely that she scratched and ruptured a capsule filled with blood, infected tissue, and dying tumor cells. So while there was blood, there was no bleeding. Make sense?

We've taken her completely off baytril, which didn't seem to be helping with this particular infection, so she is now exclusively on clindamycin 0.1cc 2x daily. He also suggested irrigating her mouth with water and then a diluted Listerine mixture (4 parts water, 1 part Listerine) to flush out the food particles that are getting stuck.

He palpated her tumor and neck thoroughly and looked at her mouth (sweet little girl actually LET him look in her mouth!!!), and he says that the tumor still seems to be growing outward and not involving either her tongue or her throat. She's got some displacement of her jaw, but that's to be expected, and she showed zero pain response when he was palpating her tumor, which he says is extraordinary.

So, I have good news again. Murray is in good shape, considering her situation. She was playful and active and as personable as always at the vet, and she came home to eat a large portion of hedgehog mash and Boost. Her weight is up to 385 when it had been around 360 this weekend, so I am pleased.

2/24/2001

Good news is always welcome, I know, so I thought I'd share mine.

3 1/2 year old Murray is still doing well despite her diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma in October. She has lost the ability to chew (and a couple of teeth) but with Murray's Mash and vanilla Boost, she is eating quite well. She's wheeling like crazy, too.

We are giving her 0.1cc of clindamycin 2x daily to keep down the almost inevitable oral infections, and also cleaning out her little mouth with Q-tips dipped in some oral rinse that the vet gave us (mint flavored CHX). She hates this, naturally, but she's become a good sport. When we first started cleaning out her mouth, it was TERRIBLE. We were extracting bits of old food, skin, dried blood, and heaven knows what else, and it would almost inevitably cause bleeding. Now, since we are maintaining a relatively clean mouth, we're just getting remnants of her last meal, for the most part.

The rapid tumor growth that I was so frightened about several weeks ago was not actually tumor growth. She had been alternating clindamycin with Baytril in ten-day cycles, and the Baytril, though good for other things, was not helping with the oral infection. The swelling was actually caused by the infection and not by the tumor itself, so after a few days back on the clindamycin, it went down considerably and has stayed at a much smaller and stable size. I do not see any growth, but of course I would miss gradual increases.

Behaviorally I have to say that my girl is in top form. We are more closely bonded that we have ever been. She "asks" to be picked up, wheels in broad daylight, snuggles, comes to my hand when I call her, and does lots of things that she never did before. She is such a darling. I know that eventually, she will have to be put to sleep, but that may be a long way off. Every day is a blessing and our interactions ensure that when the last day comes, I can know that the day before was a good one. I love her so very much.

2/25/2001

OK gang, I just thought I'd share the fact that Murray has now been wheeling, off and on, since 9 a.m. I am NOT kidding. She has taken a couple of little naps (20-30 minutes, max) and has been tearing around her corral like her little butt was on fire. She's stopped to eat, but for the most part, she's been wheeling ... and wheeling ... and wheeling ... and wheeling ... I wish I had an odometer on this Sharon Decker wheel!!!

3/8/2001

Miss Murray just had an undignified thing happen to her, and I want to give the list a heads up ... apparently Norma had a similar experience last night.

Murray LOVES vanilla Boost. We've been mixing a little with her mash and she has eaten both with considerable relish. My husband thought that she might like a little straight Boost last night, and oh, did she slurp it down. She was fine so we repeated that again tonight ... and then it happened ...

I was sitting at my computer with my back to wheeling Murray. She stopped abruptly and a sound ... that I can only describe as "squirt" ... came from her direction. I turned around and Murray, poised with foot in the air, prepared to resume wheeling, fortunately stopped. She had a little hedgie diarrhea on her wheel. Poor girlie. I cleaned the wheel (she was clean, oddly) and gave it back to her.

She's been wheeling away and apparently wasn't upset by the incident, but I think we'll go back to a more moderate Boost schedule for the sake of her wee tummy ...

3/12/2001

Murray had a routine check-up for her cancer with Dr. Hentges today and it went very well. He's a little concerned about her weight loss (she's down under 300g from a normal of around 500g and a high of almost 600g) and recommended a slight change in diet. He wants her eating a diet high in readily bioavailable proteins. That means chicken, eggs, and whatever dairy she can tolerate. I'm adding more lactobacillus culture to her diet to help her digestion. So Murray's dinner table will look like this:

Murray's Mash
Chicken baby food
Scrambled eggs
Small amount of cottage cheese
Small amount of vanilla Boost

A veritable cornucopia of hedgehog delights. The vanilla Boost (as well as Ensure, KMR, etc.) are not as good for hedgehogs as one might think -- it is so rich that it frequently goes right through them. With this diet, I do need to watch for evidence of kidney problems because it is so high in protein, but since it is high in usable proteins, not waste proteins, she should use most of it instead of excreting it. I need to watch for excessive drinking, excessive urination, and an ammonia smell to her breath. As of right now, her kidneys are just fine.

I asked about what causes green poop, since it is such a common occurrence with hedgehogs, and got a great scientific answer. When a hedgehog is stressed either by environmental circumstances, illness, or infection, the body rushes food through the digestive tract. The green poop is colored by bile, which normally would have broken down in the digestive tract if digestion had continued at a more normal pace.

Murray was hyperactive at the vet's office and charmed everyone. She was climbing, jumping, and burrowing ... Dr. Hentges says that he is really pleased with her disposition and obvious joy with life. That probably makes a significant difference in her dealing with her cancer.

I fed her about a tbsp of chicken baby food and cottage cheese, and although she did decorate her corral and herself with them, she ate most of her dinner and some seconds. I'm very pleased. I'd like to get her back up to 400g if I can do it ... wish us luck!

3/20/2001

Jennifer (angel of hedgehogs) just brought over some syringes and cannulas for me to use in hand feeding Murray. Murray has been gradually more uncomfortable when eating even mushy foods from her 3 oz. round bowl and I thought I'd give hand feeding a try.

Well, it was a major success! Murray sucked down 1 mL of Boost in no time flat and was eagerly licking the cannula for more. Yay! I have now made a very soupy mixture of chicken baby food, cottage cheese, water, and Boost that I have mashed until it is a lump-free, liquidy mixture that will easily go through the cannula tip. Murray was not as interested in it, but then again, she had just eaten a LOT of Boost ... kinda like getting dessert first ...

3/23/2001

My dear husband has figured out Murray’s eating problem! She is having trouble getting over the top of her food dish (a 3 oz. glass bowl), so we’ve switched to a shallow dish -- actually a soy sauce dish. She’s able to lick up her soupy mixture quite well this way, so happily we can put the syringes away for the time being.

4/6/2001

Chopper and I were cleaning out Murray's mouth tonight -- usually, I do it alone, but tonight she had some clotting and food residue that necessitated a more thorough cleaning -- and she once again broke wind at us! She poops for revenge purposes (remember my hair, everyone?) and this time, she had just pooped, so she was fresh out of ammo ... so out comes this little toot, followed by a very wee poopie. I laughed so hard I nearly dropped her. 8-)

4/10/2001

Murray continues to be in obvious good spirits despite a recent weight loss. She had dipped down as low as 236g a couple of weeks ago and is now back there after efforts to put some weight on her were somewhat successful, getting her up to around 285g.

I think that I've identified what changed -- she was eating a mixture of chicken baby food, veggie baby food, low-curd cottage cheese, and vanilla Boost. The curds seemed to be sticking to her, so when I ran out of cottage cheese, I didn't replace it. I've bought some more low-curd cottage cheese and added it to her mixture today, and she gobbled it down with obvious relish. I'll keep everyone informed.

I think Murray is a miracle. She has now survived for six months – one eighth of her life -- with an active, malignant tumor. It has gotten large and interferes with her ability to chew, but she is managing it so incredibly well. Does anyone else know of a hedgehog with cancer that has survived, with good quality of life or no, this long? I credit the nutritional supplement IP6 for Murray's health, along with her natural happy little personality, the information I've been able to learn on this and other lists, and other factors. I urge, urge, urge every slave with a hedgehog with cancer to discuss giving IP6 in some quantity with their vet, and will always be happy to answer any questions.

She was a real ham at Norma's party this Sunday -- picking on Skeezix, running around, and being comic relief for the otherwise solemn event. I just love her little spirit. She is a delight.

4/11/2001

Chopper and I decided to take Murray to the church yard next door right around dusk, when it was still light enough to keep an eye on her. She ran and dug and sniffed and generally had a terrific time.

Once it got too dark, we moved her to the church steps, which have a large granite landing in the middle that is just perfect for hedgehog activity, as well as several nearby streetlight for illumination. Murray ran, ran, ran (!!!) for about an hour and a half total ... we got tired before she did. We had lots of tourists and other folks stop by and admire her, which she, being a ham, LOVED. 8-)

This is all after she has lost some more weight (down to 236g again) and isn't eating as much as I would like. I got so worried, then I watched her obvious joy at being outdoors and playing, and I couldn't stay worried. Whatever time we have left together ... she is enjoying it, and so should I.

4/15/2001

I am having a rough night ... Murray is down to 210g and I'm force feeding some Boost and nutrical. She is still pooping and active, but I'm so desperately worried about her. It just hit me all of a sudden that one day
she won't be here and I just can't bear it right now.

4/16/2001

Murray was at 208g before her morning meal, still dropping but at least not too dramatically. I started the nutrical a couple of days ago and hope it starts to help soon. I got 1 mL of nutrical in her and 3 mL of vanilla Boost, same as last night, and she didn't have any GI trouble during the night. She's been eating so much Boost that I guess her system has gotten used to it.

4/17/2001

While I was attempting to syringe feed Murray tonight, with some degree of success, I had an idea. Murray's only experiences with syringes in her four years of life up until this syringe feeding became necessary have been negative. She's gotten primarily nasty medications through a syringe and consequently has a strong negative association with syringes, and who can blame her???

So here's my idea -- with my next hedgehog, I am going to periodically syringe feed her vanilla Boost or something else tasty [note: honeyed water was suggested] to acclimate her to the syringe and persuade her that it is a good thing. That way, when and if I am called upon to use it to feed her or administer medicine, it will be far less painful for both of us. Murray fights the syringe so much, even when it is her beloved vanilla Boost and she settles down somewhat.

4/17/2001

Well, the good news is that Murray's weight has stabilized over the last day. She had been losing between 5-10g daily. We're going to see Dr. Hentges at 5 pm to talk about feeding options ... Lori and Dana had mentioned Hills Science Diet A/D as a good syringe feeding food, so we'll pick up a couple of cans while we're there. Anything to get calories in her!

I have been feeding her as much vanilla Boost as she will take -- a syringe and a half full (about 5.5 mL total) at 2 am last night, a full syringe (3.5 mL) at lunch today, less than 1/2 mL just now. She's always been more of a night eater. Normally, the Boost would be too rich for a hedgehog system, but Murray's been gradually getting more and more of it, and she's adapted well. No GI distress evident, and she is still pooping, although they are small and infrequent (maybe 1-2 daily).

She's still her sunny little self, and wants to eat, so I'm convinced that she wants to hang in here. If she starts to reject food, or become lethargic, I think that's a definite signal that the end is near. However, she's trying to eat -- just not having much luck on her own, and her energy level is quite good.

4/18/2001

Here's the update -- Dr. Hentges thinks that she is having some involvement of the nerve controlling her tongue, so she is not able truly to eat on her own. However, she is still wanting to eat, play, and act normally, so he, Chopper, and I agree that trying to get her weight up is the best course of action here.

Dr. Hentges is reluctant to prescribe an anaerobic steroid to halt her body's use of its own tissues for food because it might have the unintended side effect of stimulating tumor growth. We're going to see how she does without it for 24-48 hours and re-evaluate if needed. I have one of the digital scales that Standing Bear sells and can keep track of her weight very accurately.

To help her with weight gain, we have in our possession two cans of Hills Prescription Diet A/D, which should be very effective. Murray will get 4 mL every 6 hours, so about 16 mL daily. Dr. Hentges likes A/D and definitely thinks it will help. We got nearly 2 mL into her at the vet's office.

Murray, today and yesterday, has been showing the first signs of her weight loss affecting her. She has been visibly weak and somewhat lethargic. At the vet's, instead of exploring as usual, she hid out in her hedgebag ... except when the vet tech opened the can of A/D. Then out she came, nose aquiver, wanting to know what that delectable smell was!

I have to say that A/D is the consistency of runny pate and smells approximately like a carcass left to bake for three days on the side of the highway in July. It is absolutely the least appealing substance that I have encountered in my dealings with hedgehogs, and that includes all forms of poop. However, Murray seems to like it, and that's what matters.

The wee girlie was just up and wheeling, slowly, and only for a minute, but I think she feels better. I'm about to give her a syringeful of A/D and see what happens ... hopefully, she'll start to pack on the grams.

4/18/2001

I just got 3 mL of A/D in Murray ... she definitely didn't fight it like she did the nutrical, which is very, very good. I may cut it with a little vanilla Boost to make it a little more liquidy, since it seems to be sticking in her mouth a little.

I weighed her, which I probably should not have done, and she's at 196g. That is depressingly, catastrophically low, and now I'm crying again. I know logically that nothing had really changed to stop her weight loss and that the A/D will help, but will take a while, so I shouldn't panic, but I am very, very freaked out.

Looking at her thin little frame is not helping. She has hollows under her legs. I can feel her ribs when I pick her up. She's as delicate and as fragile as a little baby bird. I want my robust, slightly overweight little girl back.

4/19/2001

I know this post won't catch many people by surprise considering Murray's recent downturn. She ate quite a lot with the syringe feeding last night before I went to bed, and my husband, who is a night owl, fed her again at 2 am and spent a lot of time snuggling. She was weak, but forceful in her opinions as always -- he said it was very clear that she wanted to be with him.

This morning, I woke up and immediately went to check on her. She had crawled out of her hedgebag and was resting on her belly in the middle of her corral. When I scooped her up, she was weak and limp, just cutting her eyes up at me and breathing softly and slowly. I carried her with her hedgebag back to the bed and woke Chopper up, telling him that I thought this was it. I laid on my back and put her on my chest, covering her slightly with her hedgebag, rubbing her back and talking quietly to her. She breathed slower and slower until she just stopped completely. We held her in bed, cried, and talked for a long time.

After twelve hours of dealing with this, I've come to some peace. Murray had become too weak to wheel, play, or be active at all over the last three or four days, and she hated being syringe fed. Her favorite things in life lately have been wheeling and eating ... and she could do neither one. I believe she chose to cross, and I draw so much comfort from that. It makes me look back on the last few weeks and months and know that she was happy -- otherwise, she would have chosen to cross earlier than she did. This morning, she waited for one last snuggle with me before she went. Her last act was one of kindness and love for me.

Murray is beyond the rainbow bridge now, tubing, wheeling, or -- more likely -- eating everything in sight out of everyone else's food dish. Chopper and I will obviously have a hole in our life ... it will be strange to come home and not greet my furry girl ... but she had control over her destiny and I am greatly comforted by that.

Please don't write and tell me how sorry you are for my loss. I don't want to be sorry. I want to be glad and feel honored that this beautiful, funny little girl was part of our lives for nearly four years. I was lucky to have known her. Please tell me how she affected you. She has been a blessing for me, an inspiration to others, comic relief for many.

You list folk have been my source of strength lately and I love all of you. Please cuddle your hedgehogs and love them every day, not knowing what tomorrow brings.

4/20/2001

I guess I'm not writing Murray updates any more (sniff) but you all have been so kind and loving, I felt that I needed to let you know how things are going for us.

Last night we went to our favorite Japanese steakhouse and ate shrimp in honor of Murray. She went absolutely crazy for them ... and if the couples at our table thought us odd for toasting with shrimp, then to heck with them!

Chopper and I walked and talked a lot. I bought a lovely memory box at Michael's -- it's from the baby section, plain white so it's decoratable, about 8x8 with a place for four photos on top and memorabilia inside. I'm painting it hunter green. I've been tucking all sorts of sweet things in it -- the receipt from when we "adopted" Murray, a set of her baby quills, etc. I have other things that will eventually go in the box, too, but the time has not come yet.

This afternoon, we got her remains back from the crematory. We had already decided a long time ago how to handle that, so we spent a lovely hour or so walking around Charleston to all her favorite places. The church steps, the hedge near the church steps that she was always forbidden to climb in, Washington Park, and Waterfront Park where she loved to dig in the flower beds. We scattered some of her ashes in all of those places, laughed at funny Murray stories, cried a little, and thought it a fitting send off for such an adventurous girl.

She had the last laugh, though -- as we scattered the last ashes at Waterfront Park, the wind changed slightly and I got some in, yes, MY HAIR. Ah, Murray, the mischevious, is still with us.

I am loving all the e-mails and stories I am getting from list folk. I'm hearing how much of an impact my beloved girl had on so many people, and that makes me so glad. I have gotten dozens and dozens, so if I don't reply, please know I have read and saved them all. I'm going to make a little e-scrapbook and burn it onto CD -- containing four years of photos, an archive of her web site, all your notes and stories. Thank you all.

I'd like to share a thought that I got from a book I read briefly last night at Barnes and Noble. I wish I could remember the name of it, but it's truly not that important. The essence is this:

Every one of us has a protector -- call it a guardian angel, a spirit, a master teacher, whatever. Every once in a while, this master teacher incarnates a little piece of itself into the form of an animal, so that it can live with us for a short time and teach us something. When the animal dies, its spirit is absorbed back into that of the master teacher, who continues to watch and guide us.

Murray was a beautiful, funny, wise piece of my master teacher. While I know I will not see her again until I cross the bridge myself, I will meet different aspects of my teacher in my life, each of which will be a small piece of the whole that Murray was part of. She was an excellent teacher, not only for me but for Chopper, for many of you, for a lot of people. I draw great comfort from this idea and hope that you do, too.

I will leave you on a funny note: When hedgehogs die, do they walk toward a tunnel of light ... or into a nice, cozy looking dark hole?

For Murray, such a funny teacher, with all my love forever.

Heather